When details don't matter
12
Apr
On Sunday we returned from Morocco. What a wonderful time we had !
On Sunday we also celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary.
For a person obsessed with details in arranging everything, I am still astounded to this day about how little I cared about the details of my wedding day.
I was so busy with my career at the time that I squeezed in the details for this big day in the few moments I had to spare in-between deadlines and client demands.
Which is why I printed the church leaflet after midnight in a backstreet alley of a martial arts guru’s studio where lots of things went on that I pretended to not notice…. but it was already 2 nights before the wedding and no print shop could help me at that late stage anymore….
….which is why I only showed up at my parents’ house the day before the wedding after my dad threatened to come get me if I don’t pack up my work and come home to be on time for the ceremony…
….which is why I left the designer to choose the design and the fabric for my dress and only fitted it once…yes, the dress wasn’t even white – only because she decided ivory would go nicely with my hair color –
….which is why I had nothing to wear on my head/ over my face which had upset a lot of my aunts attending the wedding
….which is why my mom went to a connection she had to open up his shop the night before the big day and dye the only pair of  shoes we could find the day before to be in an ivory colour to match my dress
…which is why I had nothing to decorate my hair with which left the hairdresser no choice but to pull a piece of flowers from my bouquet to put in my hair
…which is why my sister-in-law went home while they were already doing my hair and I then realized that I had no earrings to wear..and she found an old pair of hers !
Yes, the list goes on – those were not even small details that were left unattended to. Those were the big things..
And yet – I had a lovely wedding. Despite my significant lack of planning!
Which just brings me to the point….that apart from having beautiful photos to remember the day, weddings are one of those where despite popular belief, it is not ALL about the details. Had it depend on how perfect that day was or was not…. my marriage would have certainly had to fall apart by now…. and many having had a perfect day with attention to every little detail, may have ended already their journey together. There is nothing wrong with either of these options (meaning very little planning or over the top planning for several years) …and I am totally for planning your day to the finest degree of detail ! But I am relieved to report that the wedding day is not all about the detail….
In this case the difference is not in the detail….
The difference is in choosing the right person to marry.
Eighteen years on, having a box full of memories with photos of the most divine details from a picture perfect day would have helped nothing had we lost the love since that day.
Not that I am trying to justify my sluggish approach to my big day..which still astounds me AFTER writing this post….only that I am relieved to have discovered that it did not matter in the end…so, to all you beautiful brides-to-be out there….
Yes, I am all for making your wedding day the most beautiful day …but today’s post has just one message for those still planning…let this event’s details not be only about that day…this is one of the few times when the event is not the end in itself, but it is only the beginning…..of a life of details – not of your own, but of how you and your partner can manage to integrate your life’s details with one another …
Feeling blessed to have the best husband ever that brought me this beautiful bouquet today, I am fully aware of the difference he has made in sharing my life with him….
ps – and for those of you too tied up in your careers right now…it’s not worth it !! Take a break – plan your big day… your marriage might last forever..your first job – definitely not !!
Ilze
Morocco
2
Apr
Ever since Holly from decor8 did this lovely post about her travels to Morocco for a Creative Workshop she taught there, I have been drooling on the idea of going there….
Yes – this was my comment on her post back in October 2010.
…which just shows you that I wanted to go…even long before then!!
And today – it is MY turn !! Unexpectedly and by none of my own doing I get to spend the next week in this destination that has captured my mind many years ago when I bought a Moroccan lamp that I still love and have. Can’t wait to see and share more of the design and ideas that will inspire me there.
I am off with hubby for 10 days of lovely relaxation in Marrakesh. As I am sitting in Istanbul, waiting for the plane to board to Casa Blanca…I can marvel again on this post with all the lovely images that awaits us there.
I will miss my happy campers who can not join Mom & Dad this time. Especially since one kept on walking off with things she felt appropriate to take along – while I was trying to pack!!
Glad I caught her walking off with the bag and flip-flops that were meant to go in the suitcase?!
Holly shared many hints and ideas about her trip there and therefore, those of you who already asked me for feedback upon my return, don’t need to wait that long.
You can see a few posts on Holly’s blog and start planning and dreaming..and drooling…right away ! There are great tips on where to stay and what to do and great pictures to set you in motion !
I’m off to have a lovely time. I hope you do too in the coming week….
With Love
Ilze
Ilze
I am not my body…
31
Mar
Last week was one of those weeks where I lived in frustration again with my own body.
Complaining to myself that I have nothing to wear, following my “unexplained” weight gain….obsessing over minor aches and pains I had….feeling nauseous from medicines I took …. and the list goes on.
Just in general not a happy camper…very frustrated with my body and how not-perfect it was….
That off course made my whole life seem miserable and nothing was good enough anymore.
That was until I met Stephanie Nielsen.
I did not meet her in person…but I was reading a book review on someone’s blog and noted a small icon on the right sidebar…I clicked and it landed me on her blog,  NieNie Dialogues.
I watched the video on her blog …and then I cried.
I cried for her burns. I cried for her courage. I cried for her children.
And then I spent the rest of the evening reading through her blog and archives to even before her accident.
I felt ashamed about my complaints – having a perfectly healthy body and pretending like I have it so bad…
But, more importantly I felt so inspired by her. She has no choice now but to live in her new body, but she started blogging 3 years before her accident…and then she did have a choice to make – to be happy or unhappy. And everything I read points to the fact that she lived life in full and in gratitude before this happened. Her zest for life and her love for her husband was just simply incredible.
I watched the clip and what struck me most was ” I am not my body”. I want to never forget that again.
My mind has been with Stephanie so much this past week…and I want you to meet her too. So, I share her story here today and hope that you too can learn from her. You can watch more videos on her blog, especially the one with her four children and their Blue Lily photo shoot. It is just divine.
Take care
Ilze
Ilze
Reflections on Raising "Adults"
29
Mar
We all try our best raising our kids…right??
We try different means and methods… and hope for the best!!
Who knows what will or will not achieve the results we were hoping for….only time tells…
Last  week my kids went off on their own for the first time, flying without mom and dad to another country ! For a playdate/ fun birthday surprise !
Yes – they were bursting with excitement to get to spend a week with friends without their parents.
They were indeed not without “parents”…as our friends took them in under their wings for the week…oh boy…did they know what they signed up for?
Well – it was their idea and they arranged everything. How lucky were these kids??
While they were gone, I had time to sort out a few things and was digging deep into some archives to search for something when I found these papers from a couple of years ago…
It made me smile.
It was not kids’art. It was their interpretation of my “parental input” by lack of a better word.
They date back about 4 years, when me and the two of them sat together and talked about relationships amongst other things – in one of my attempts to not raise KIDS, but to raise ADULTS…as me and my husband keep on reminding ourselves through the years.
This chat most certainly was on good relationships on the playground at school, making friends etc. as I recall one of them having issues with this at the time.
There are “pointers” ..sort of suggestions for them…but then there are the “rules” – the non negotiable things ….
Yes – I do this to my kids…you can laugh or applaud now….
And then I ask  them to feed back to me in their own way how they understood/ interpreted what I was trying to say.
This is probably the reason why I kept these papers all these years !!! To reflect back one day on how they applied their minds to this…
Or wait, maybe it was to have proof that I did in fact tried, if it turns out that my efforts were to no avail…
I don’t write it out anymore and they draw it out either… this was when they were 6 and 8 – just to remind you !!!
I even tried to help the teacher, by listing the things he could do in class to be a good student – when I got a little note from her one day….
And then there was the “how to put this in ACTION…”
Yes – obviously I threw in a few “these things  you gotta do at home if you wanna keep Mommy sane” ????!!!
…and yes, why would I NOT sneak in a …”keep the house neat and tidy?????”…. I am a bit of a neat freak??? (can I say that that one did not make quite the impression I was hoping for??). I constantly find towels on the floor, messes everywhere and even a little report back from my friend that my son left his clothes on the floor at their house. Oops. And..Sorry, friend ! I did get many other positive reports from her to make up for that one !
Well, we are a religious family, so bringing up kids in such an environment also included a few pointers on how to make a special time for God  and where He fits into all of this in our daily lives or where we fall short on our own…or as parents.
Those just a few notes from one of my efforts to help these kids gain perspective on life in the way me and my husband see it..so that they can one day apply what we taught them…. decide for themselves and hopefully keep the good and throw out the bad and go beyond the mistakes we made….
This week I could not help but wonder – how many of these things that we have gone through over the years have made enough impact to fully equip them for the world out there? Surely they interact a lot with others on a daily basis and on playdates..and I don’t keep that close an eye on my kids to control their actions and responses. But they are starting to go off on their own in little bits and pieces and it is more and more up to them what choices they make on a daily basis.
This is where we as parents have to trust, that they will be reminded of what they were taught – from our best intention and efforts. And there will be parts that needs some shaping up still in the years to come…. And their will be some parts of their personality and behaviour that will develop beyond what I taught them…in a good OR a bad way.
But, I trust in my heart that they were good company…remembering many  of the things they have learned…and most of all – I am happy that they did something right in the first instance on shaping their friendship and relationships up to this point – something well enough to get invited to someone’s house for a week !
I am thankful for friends who took them in..and I am thankful for my kids and the years we have had together up till now to talk about all these things and I am looking forward to another couple of years, in helping them become their own in this world to engage in meaningful, pleasant and lasting friendships !!
I feel blessed to have been able to be a parent and try my hand at this. What a priviledge.
Do you feel the same way about raising kids?
Or if you don’t have kids yet and plan to have some – Â are you looking forward to raising them? Or is this a huge mountain ahead for you?
Well – a little advice from me then…
I believe that there are only 2 things you need to give your kids – ROOTS and WINGS !
I have tried to give them some roots..to keep them well grounded by explaining the mechanics, the rules, our set of principles.
I am working on their wings…. but is with great anticipation that I see them flapping them already, starting to  take off on short flights …and eventually  have the sky as their limit.
I love them dearly. It is an exciting and extreme privilege to raise kids… I mean…raise adults for this world we live in.
Do you have any wisdom to share with me? Please do.
If you have complaints about my kids – sorry, my inbox is full.
If you have lovely things to say about them..you can leave a million comments on this blog !
Ilze
P.S – No copyright on my book above on “parenting”… feel free to use on your kids ! It comes no charge and no copyright.Not often you get something for free, right? :-))
Ilze
Chanel Spring Summer 2011 Ready to Wear Collection
28
Mar
I am back from my blog break and I have to admit – I missed writing… just to write and share my life and my feelings and my thoughts.
Even if no one listens, even if no one cares. I enjoy writing.
So, I think I will start by catching up with all the things I wanted to say last week, which I didn’t get to share.
First up – was the Chanel Spring/ Summer 2010 Ready-to-wear- Collection that I got to see at a fashion show. A friend of mine invited me to go with her. She gets you in everywhere – as a VVIP guest. Love that ! 🙂
So, it was up at the Rooftop of the Shinsegae – where there is lovely art work to admire while the models get ready..
That is ….. only untill the models come. Because then you have pay close attention !
Oooh….some of those price tags are hefty, so it is always nice to go home not so empty-handed….
Thanks to goody bags…Thank you Coco !
The book we got as a hand-out shows the scenes behind the Photo Shoot for the new collection…and here is a taste of what is inside…
All the details are on the back page, so you can go have a peek too ! This post is just a teaser to get you in shopping mood for the Spring/ Summer ahead !
I have to admit – I only own items from Chanel bags and accessories, but I do not own an item from the Chanel clothing line….
Having said that ….those SHOES I saw at the show…still comes back to haunt me – one week later…. I LOVED it !!!!
I think it is going to be a HOT, HOT item this spring/ summer.
I don’t want to spoil you over and share a photo here, so – yes, you will need to  go see it at the Chanel site – they go through a lot of trouble to set up the shoots, so just fair you go visit them !! And check out those SHOES !!!!!
Oohhh… I wonder if I will own a pair later this year…..????
I wish…
More about the rest of my week tomorrow !
Ilze
Ilze
Blog break
21
Mar
I am taking a little blog break this week.
My kids are off on holidays…most people are still in a rather somber mood for Japan and I want to respect that …and I am taking this time to tackle one of my projects that are long overdue…
Sorting my photos and transferring them off my computer.
I started with 120 000 images in i-photo…
I still have some way to go……
I will be back next week !
Hope to meet you back here then…
Take care
Ilze
Ilze
Monday mood-lift by Amy Butler designs
14
Mar
Today is Monday and it is pretty cloudy and foggy where I live.
The spring colours of my previous post is about the only thing around me that is bright and colourful right now.
I guess winter is just not quite ready to let go of its’ grip.
This weather makes me want to crawl back in bed. And how lovely if you have a set of 100% Organic Linen by the very talented Amy Butler.
I love everything that  Amy Butler offers and she is the official sponsor of the Selvedge Spring Fair which takes place on April, 2nd in London. She is also a contributor in Holly Becker’s upcoming book Decorate which deserves a post of its own sometime soon for all the hype it is creating right now in the decor world !! You can read all about the Fair details (as well as pre-order Holly’s book) on Holly’s famous blog decor8. , which is where I was reminded once again of the many talents of Amy.
I have a number of stationery products of Amy. Go check it out ! You will get lost in all the wonderful colours and design….
Now….to decide….crawl back in bed….????…..mmmmm…. Happy Monday everybody !
Ilze
Party Style – Spring is here….
13
Mar
Today I want to start another series on my blog! Simply called Party Style.
My big passion lies in setting a scene for an event and I decided to pursue it more.
In this series I will feature some “teasers” for table settings which will hopefully inspire you when you host a little get together of your own. When you put a little passion into preparing for the next party, it will surely shows. Â It is always nice when friends know that you took a little extra care preparing for the time you share.
Today we kick off the series inspired by SPRING.
Spring is here…..Winter is gone (well, supposedly !).
Why not celebrate by inviting a few friends over for a casual chat and dust off the winter blues with a bright, cheerful setting that will certainly invite the sun out !
I used the fresh flowers that I got from the market to inspire the rest of my color scheme.
Candles always add in creating atmosphere – Â be it day or night when you entertain. Light a candle – especially if it has a lovely fragrance complimenting the fragrance of the flowers.
Color co̦rdination is key to make visual impact. Make sure everything matches perfectly. It pleases the eye. Detail will make the difference ! When you have a table-cloth that has a design, try to stick to plain color napkins, plates and glasses. It gets too busy if you put cups and plates with a design on a table-cloth that has a print already. The same goes vice versa Рyou can use printed plates or glasses or pretty napkins when you use your table-cloth as an undertone of color.
Napkins always provide great opportunity to add a little something extra if you have time for a little effort and attention to detail. Make your own “napkin rings” with any small, inexpensive ornament and a ribbon.
If you are in my area, and you need help or a consultation on planning and preparing the space for your next elite event..be it a special birthday, a baby shower, a dinner, a business reception or any elite occasion that needs a bit more brainstorming than you feel capable of, contact me via e-mail for help at ioblog@me.com.
Hope the weather will allow us all to have a happy Spring-inspired celebration with the beautiful colors that are awaiting us all this Spring despite all the devastation brought upon us in the world over the last couple of days! Our thoughts are with all those who suffered tremendous losses and chaos and our hopes are for speedy relief !
Ilze
Ilze
Kids' School Snacks
11
Mar
Who hates packing school snacks in the morning..trying to decide what to pack when you are still half asleep? Well, I do.
And I am too lazy to do it the night before. One day at a time !
Today, just a tip from my side for those days when you don’t have time to prepare something fresh like a sandwich or fruit.
I buy bulk for items that don’t have expiry dates.
I take a selection of items and re-package them in snack size suitable for my kids.
Putting a personal note takes hardly any extra time…but goes a long way putting a smile in their hearts when they open it at school !
Then I take a few of each kind and  put them together in one box in a drawer. For those mornings we are in a rush…or can’t think straight because it is too early.
Simply pull open the drawer and grab a packet to go. Even when mom not around, kids have easy access to take care of themselves for school snack. Done.
Have a nice day everybody !
Ilze
Women's Day
8
Mar
Happy Women’s day to all of you out there celebrating this day !!!
So many great things out there that woman are achieving today !
Another reason to celebrate this day….
Today my blog has hit the 4 000 visitors’ mark on the statistics’ counter. So happy with the way this is going…
Can’t wait to share my new blog with you. And to start marketing it, since I have not done  any marketing with this blog !!
It is still a work-in-progress since I have not had time to work on the technical stuff as much as I would have liked to.
But, I will keep you posted as soon as we are ready to move !! Just keep coming ! And thanks for visiting my blog.
Have a great day !
Ilze
Ilze
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